DEMIE

MISTICA

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My Autistic Self

Published on 07/02/2024, 02:25

mental-healthpersonal

My personal experiences being autistic.

A TIP FOR YOU!

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Definitely haven't written this at 2:30am without some compelling reason! From my experience, autism isn't something I would take away but rather acknowledge that it's going to be a lifelong condition. And that's okay! While I see myself as needing extra accomodations at times to help me regulate my tasks and mood, this shouldn't stop me from reaching my full potential. I have special interests, but I don't really have the ability to 'infodump' about them because of how hard they are to explain to people. Autism has made me accept imperfections in my life, that I especially can't control. For instance, I can't control inflation. I focus on what I can control instead. For example, it's much easier to control my mood. Whether it'd be from taking deep breaths, to taking things more slowly than usual. I feel like being understood for who I am comes with the neurodiverse package as well, but also being mindful that it won't necessarily restrict my decision-making. I don't expect the world to accomodate for me. In my opinion, I find the word 'neurotypical' rather hostile. It's sort of like treating them as if they have no way of thinking outside the 'norm'. It's also the same for neurodivergence. While I can't necessarily come up with a more 'appealing' name for both terms, I do think that one phrase stands out the most- 'Human.' we are going to experience emotionally driven decisions either way. This is not a call for people to pick on others because of their brain structures. As an autistic person, I don't directly advocate for more acceptance. I advocate for people however, to be more mindful. To tap into our innate empathy. If you were in someone else's shoes, who was overwhelmed by loud noises and bright lights, would you tell them to just 'snap out of it'? Also, I want to clarify that my personal experiences of autism are unique, but does NOT translate to quirkiness. You can view autism or neurodivergence however you wish, but what it shouldn't be regarded as, in my honest opinion, is to use it as an excuse for bad behaviour. For me, It took way too long to realize that the only person who can turn their own life around is themselves. If I don't look after myself, I will become more pessimistic, and in turn, poor mental health arises.

Special Interest #1 - Food

Food. Lots of it.
If there's one thing that I need to reduce, is the amount I spend on eating out.

Now, this is a lesson learnt late, but better late than never. Sometimes, my understanding of consequences is impaired, therefore I tend to spend unreasonable amounts of money on takeout. And look, while autism isn't something I'd take away from myself, I do feel like taking responsibility should be a key element of who I am. However, due to traumatic past experiences, the takeout addiction has become a major coping mechanism.

Why Executive Dysfunction is my worst enemy

Being overloaded can stop me from doing important tasks.
Sensory overload is often the main reason why I can't get things done a majority of the time.

Executive dysfunction is a nicer term than 'laziness' ever will be. It's a way of saying that every time functioning can't exist, that there is a reason behind it.

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Being neurodivergent or normal can be like collecting Infinity Stones, as everyone of us is different.

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~Demie

For me especially, I need a good reason to start doing chores otherwise I won't really do them. Sometimes I may FORGET the reason why they are important because I'm very focused on something else, whether it'd be writing on this website to playing video games!

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