DEMIE

MISTICA

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Blossoming to Independence

Published on 15/04/2024, 22:12

mental-healthindependence

I'm 24 as of writing this, and I still haven't grasped the concept of adulthood. Now's the time to embrace it.

I feel like time has frozen so much in my life. The concept of responsiblity has only just existed in my headspace for such a short time, that I haven't had any time to truly master what it really feels like to be independent. That being said, I don't intend on stopping my pursuit of growth and solitude. Change IS scary. But not all things that are scary are necessarily bad. When someone asked me how I felt taking the bus in this village for the first time I replied:

Regardless of how I feel right now, I have to take the bus there. No amount of anxiety can change that.

~Demie

I thought, that getting home was more important than whatever anxiety I had, which I think shows a lot of personal growth. While my walks at the local park are still there, I still don't feel like I'm fully engaging with life. I feel like parts are still missing, like taking ownership. Independence is something we do at times, even when we don't realize it. The decision to take the bus from somewhere unfamiliar to my house was an independent decision. I could've decided to walk the whole trek too, which is an independent decision as well, albeit not the most optimal.

Money Matters

CHRISTOPHER BILL
Money is a very sensitive subject, but nevertheless is a necessary evil.

The part that I struggle with the most is with money. I spend it like there's no tomorrow. Now I want to change this. Start setting budgets, and being responsible you know? One of my strongest habits is letting my finances define my mental health, when really, regardless of whatever I have, I should try to be optimistic at all times. It's just for some reason, I blame anyone but myself for my situation. Now it's my turn to pick the pieces up and sort it out. In truth,

Taking out the trash

Me taking out the garbage outside my house.
This is something I should be doing more often, but often forget to do. Self-neglect is a real villain sometimes. Even basic tasks like taking out the trash are monumental, in a good or bad way.

There are times that I have managed basic tasks, like taking out the trash, without fear or judgment holding me back. I long for those days. The things that are really stopping me from doing this on a regular basis is lack of motivation or purpose. And I think it's okay to tell people this, rather than having to hide my true self in exchange for superficial professionalism. In other words, I think it's okay to show weakness in public, for as long as you find ways of coping or reducing them.

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